1. |
jamais pars
02:12
|
|||
|
never leave, she solemnly whispered the words again hoping this time to make it true. never leave, she wished, as she felt the flowing bed. she flung the covers to the floor, revealing her tormenting flesh. stay, she thought it told him. stay, she thought she called out. but her words and skin, were no longer enough to hold him. had the cold night of passion given way to the realization that nothing more stood between them? had the touch of his body, caressing as she vacantly hid her fears, created the doubts she denied? the bond of love, grown through attraction, slowly withered and died. the life so cold, as the sun’s fingers traced speckled fire along the wooden floor. she fell to the ground, as he silently latched the door, crying alone. i’ve said to myself: if you leave me, i won’t love you anymore.
|
||||
2. |
a teardrop left behind
07:03
|
|||
|
spinning in your room, beneath the naked bulb you lie and stare
lock yourself away where you never can be reached, i cry
knowing how you lied, still unsure why i want to give myself
holding back your tears, you know no one’s won in this game
the game’s come around and we both got hurt
falling slowly, tear me down inside my friend, my cruel uncaring friend, i’ll always, always think of you
crying alone, you never saw what i want, you always thought that i wanted you
open your eyes for once and see how i hurt, how you made me hurt
‘cause you never cared for me, it took so long to understand your thinking and see thru your lies to my truth
it tears me up inside, knowing now you’re blind, you’re never gonna care for me
i walked alone on a strip of street. with a tree that’s dark. and thought of you. your face. we’ll never meet again. we’ll never touch again. i feel sad. alone. the dark moon passes very slowly. leave me to cry. only a teardrop is left behind.
|
||||
3. |
||||
4. |
lie broken, bleeding
03:16
|
|||
5. |
hairline sunlight
01:16
|
|||
|
she shivered, as she tried to remember all the times she had smiled. but the truth always returned: they had done this to her. in the sunlight, you say i’m beautiful, my flesh your will to live. look from within to realize what you have destroyed. look from within to realize what can never return.
|
||||
6. |
with a million tears
06:13
|
|||
|
she lay outstretched, as the morning sun warmed her frozen flesh. as a flower, awoken from the dark sleep, she drifted — as the waves crashed near. she dreamt of the one she had once loved, and the pain she had brought upon herself. of the waves of black thoughts that still clawed upon her insides as the light grew. it was still too close. it had not passed. but she lie, eyes shut, and felt the warmth. she thought of everything. of her wait. forever? maybe another day, and she would find her answer. maybe another lifetime... but she could see again. and feel her heart, as it beat deep inside. and she could cry, but see it from afar... as tears rolled down her cheeks to mix with scattered hair in the clean white sand. and her thoughts could drift for a million miles. away from all the things that bothered and shattered her silence. away from all the familiar faces that knew what she needed, but never knew her. away from the harsh face, pain. she could even laugh again, as she escaped her own prison and strolled carelessly on these sands, damp with a million tears gone before. she would lift herself, to rise anew. she would drift from this house, and the pain within, as the new day broke.
|
||||
7. |
the sawdust scatter
02:45
|
|||
|
restrictions in black pressed against my forehead. a thousand tiny plates drifting out to sea
carry all my thoughts away, empty me. taunt the growing circle, plunge the knife, smile your blackest smile, go and laugh at me
demons on your shoulders they laugh at me. at the one who falls so quickly, who’s hurt so easily
well you see i never thought this was fun. you bitch yes you hurt me, now you say you’re done
dive for the floor, get lost in the shadows
love, hate, vengeance, i said it wouldn’t break me — as i felt everything drift away
crash on my chest and watch the sawdust scatter — a little broken bag of bones, you tossed away
the view from this vantage grew quite dark. as the plastic filled my brain, as my thoughts shut off
draw me out to scatter my pieces. carelessly dropping everything over the
edge of my world where the walls slid in. the light withdrew, i’m left stranded here
you brought me a candle i held it to your face — trying to burn you trying to learn
your face ashen black as you stripped your clothes — knowing you owned me, knowing control
|
||||
8. |
beneath the planks
04:39
|
|||
|
i returned to find the pieces in fragments. the hands holding outstretched, in shards on the ground
inches where it rested, my heart it was shattered. everyone left me, they couldn’t understand
the sea it rolled, i stepped into the water, i sealed my mouth, my warnings went unheeded
i slipped on board, the storm above raged. i could do nothing but hide
he dived overboard while i drown beneath the planks. she laughed again and stirred the course
her rudder had broken, her oars were lost, the rocky coast grew close
i dropped the shards and lost the grip. i saw the deep as a dead man does
in my world of blurry view of lonely girl, she crashed to shore and never knew who cared
i grew blind as the water overtook me, she crashed upon the rocks and as the sea drew back
they all walked away, i drifted in small bits, i heard the dream crash down
the hands holding outstretched, they call to me. the past now a dream, she never could see
she laughed again, to stir another course. he dived overboard, i drown beneath the planks
he dived overboard, i drown beneath the planks
|
||||
9. |
scream, my shallow
08:29
|
|||
|
the black-lined scowl of a mask of darkened faces looking down on me
i brought you back into my cold dark room because i wanted you
the only flesh, the pink and tan, the scent of my torment drifting back on me
bloated and ugly, the scar that drifts behind. the pain that fills your mind when you think of me
remember me when i was the boy with the empty eyes who never never, never lied
who never knew what he felt inside, never found a reason, never found his dream
the faces, the faces, of all the ones i wanted slamming back again, slicing thru my skin
they gather around as their faces bleed, and all watch me, keep their hearts concealed
“object, object, you use us all as objects, never let me breathe”
now i lie, we lie alone, a million nights of happiness i’ve never known
now i lie, we lie alone, a million nights of happiness i’ve never known
let me take your hand, my love, and lead you from the path. show you tomorrow on a darkened lane,
lead you through your terror.
|
||||
10. |
seireenien lumoama
05:57
|
|||
|
mesmerized by the siren? she sadly wondered, realizing that she had trapped herself. behind the worldly facade of blind devoted love. behind the beautiful eyes of faith. crawling slowly, weaving a fractured path among the bones and flesh of those she had once loved. scared and torn, weary from the waves of misintention that slowly subsided as she begged to lose. as she begged to be rescued from the world of empty souls she now despised. remember me? empty eyes. never never. felt inside. dream. so i lie. we lie alone. never known. remember me? he loved you. our flesh as one. never never knew. you curl in tight. i would rather die, than lie alone. she gazed upon herself, angular yet silent — a glowing ball upon the sparkling sands. had she grown so empty? solitary and forbidden, waving off judgement yet cruelly casting the stone? inflicting equally on all who came near, as she slowly sank into obsession. crashed upon the rocks, she whispered; as the body, so distant, rose in final flight. she felt the pull of arms, no longer identifiable as they reached in dying love, reachieving so easily the feelings they once had. but realizing, too late, their rapture. lost among the blind, she slowly slipped upon the rocks. how could they still love, when i had been uncaring? why do they pledge so totally, as cruelty became my only power? this face. if only i could shatter. to lose and start anew. lured by a song they never knew; seduced by the image of a vision so beautiful as it deceptively beckons, yet never seeing behind the cold, staring eyes. unnoticed as she slid behind the mask; tempting yet uncontained waiting, always waiting, for something to come between. to reconstruct her eternity and call her with words indecipherable — tempt her for tomorrow.
|
||||
11. |
Disc 2 • Bonus Tracks:
00:01
|
|
||
12. |
the magnet & the metal
05:11
|
|
||
|
darkened room with a thousand eyes of fire clinging towards the edge
bring me here, you draw me here, with your hidden mystery that you never call to play
attraction of the metal to the magnet — forces that they couldn’t control
something stirs in the haze that drifts as the floor as the face pulls me through my dream with feelings as words
lips burning red as they draw me under, flesh tan and warm giving way to our thoughts
attraction of the metal to the magnet — feel the pull to feel
|
||||
13. |
|
|||
14. |
|
|||
15. |
|
|||
16. |
|
|||
17. |
|
|||
18. |
|
|||
19. |
|
|||
20. |
|
|||
21. |
|
|||
Black Tape For A Blue Girl Portland, Oregon
Black Tape For A Blue Girl creates darkwave, ethereal, neoclassical, ambient, goth albums. This page also includes my
ambient/electronic music, as well as side-projects. Thanks for listening. Sam
Patrons receive exclusive music: blacktapeforabluegirl.bandcamp.com/patron
Formed in 1986
... more
Black Tape For A Blue Girl recommends:
Tim, where are you now?
by Sam Rosenthal & Projekt Artists
My collaboration with Projekt electronic artists
go to album
MIX TAPE 4 MATT (name your price)
by Sam Rosenthal
This is a mix tape of Black Tape For A Blue Girl songs I created to go along with my erotic novel, Rye.
go to albumIf you like Black Tape For A Blue Girl, you may also like:
Orchids Grew Here
by Unto Ashes
supported by 68 fans who also own “mesmerized by the sirens (2023 stereo mix)”
If Death in June covered a Steeleye Span album, this might be the result. Dark and fragile, excellent rainy-day folk. If you do listen to this all the way through on a gloomy day, make sure to go outside and run some errands.
go to album
Sanctuary of Desire
by Steve Roach
supported by 65 fans who also own “mesmerized by the sirens (2023 stereo mix)”
One half more actively hypnotic, one half more passively meditative, Steve Roach has done it again.
go to album
Peripheral
by Grosso Gadgetto & NLC
Eerie dark electronic compositions from this French duo that are as hypnotizing as they are mysterious.
go to album
Electronic pioneer Steve Roach is at his finest on this 11-track live record, recorded as part of the celebrated Ambient Church series.
go to album
